Day 131: Screaming Is The Solution

There is was. Its eye's gawking at my body. I wouldn't normally care due to the fact that I am so hot, I enflame myself, but... it's hideous! All its eight eyes were staring, undressing me. "I'm being violated" I screamed, "The profanity!" I proclaimed. An overgrown monstrosity, freak like thing; I can't believe. How in the melting depths below, did it get so big? That unholy freak was sent from the devil itself to reprimand my righteousness for all things I do good. I threatened to squish, for I possess no more spray. And like I was the hideous monster, it did scurry outside screaming an awful screech.

Dancing Tulips Cut The Weave.

Day 130: Finger Pawn

Do you remember it? I said it would be so G-rated, you would singe your eyeballs. Of course I was in on it and it had to be relieved. Lisa and I had tingles in our fingers and urges we could not deny! Do not speak to me in that tongue; it's whipping a Lizard!

Right Click and "Save As" Or something similar;
But FireFox and IE just click and choose save.

Finger Porn #1 | Finger Porn #2 | Finger Porn #3

Begone You Devilled Sausage Spawn.

Day 129: That Malignant Mole

She's at it again! "I want it new and different. I want it like this and do it this way, not that way."
How evil to manage my life when I said, "hello, please go away." Do you not think it rude? Hmmm? To go through the trash of another? I think it is and I may have to do something about that Anal Queen of the Garden Nymphs. She's just so bossy and nosey nose. She did, I tell no fibs or squiggled lines, she told me to wipe diagonal, not up and down!

Spit The Painting Leaf.

Day 128: I Heard It In My Ear.

"I don't wanna see the pieces, I just wanna sit and glare at you. I don't wanna squark about it..."

Such an awesome song; do not deny!

Day 127: Freak Out

There I sit with a wiggle.
Parrots molesting alien pickles.
Whisper it to me dear,
But see the lights are nowhere near.
Stop it I say, with a loud goodbye.
Yank it later, chains never lie.
Gloppy glop, I went to bed.
But there I never, wake up dead.

And The Fortune Sticks Its beak.

Day 126: I Found The Culprit

I have had to exit my marvellously divine confines of the dark and gloomy broom cupboard as I have found out why it stank of such unrighteousness! Too long has it been that I have had the heaven sent displeasure of smelling it. The Grudge woman did cut the dirty cheese. That's right, in-my-quarters.

To Speak The Whisper Blake.

Day 125: No, I Refuse

There is a malignant stench, housing the available air; here inside my very admirable living corners. Yes, I am in a grief stricken trauma about it; why the hell should I get over it? No way am I opening my mouth any time soon. I can't let it bypass my gapping nostrils; I wouldn't get the taste out for days!

To Crack An Egg In Instincts' Face.

Day 124: A Sting For A Win

"Excuse me dear shadow, but I have a sting. It is happening in a private place and I must, for all the shiny golden cylinders, check it out, here in your view. But you are not the stop sign pole. I can not just flomp it out and trust you not to touch its velvety textures or its rough and tumbley mountains!" I gave them some evil stares. "If I do it, will you check for me...and be gentle?" But they did not reply. I said, with a hint of glee in my voice, a tear now forming in my right eye, "I will accept this and allow only you to see." So I slipped it out, right over the top. It was a fatty, the bone easily showing. My elbow was completely exposed. Oh it was so heavenly, but now it was being infiltrated and in decay by the torturous beast that raped my arm corner. A scorpion had felt it worthy to give me a kiss, I felt the tears emerging. I flicked that meecrob off my now tainted body before I died. And then I screamed! Don't worry, I am still alive, just barely an edge tipping ways off.

Total Upheaval Of The Unconscious Mine.

Day 123: It Could Happen To You.

I awoke in such a funny sensation. It was moist and a kind of stroking. Not up and down, just up, up and up again. I could expect no less for leaving it in the open, pointing to the sky. But what could be doing it? I did not know, so I opened my eyes for a peek and there was my dog! It was so dirty; I am in shame! So sweetly encapsulated in its salty flavour, my dos was licking my toes. It tickled too, I must say, but what is that you were thinking? Speak up?? Treacherous denial of an unnamed, unearthly demon monk from the shrimp dimension. You are the stinky seesaw!

And To Think I Had Breakfast Yesterday.

SKIP THIS IF YOUR FRAGILE........................ Day 122: A Little R Rating

Both Lisa and I did think it hilarious to believe that no such thing has existed, not that we really researched. But hell no; too darn slow again we are, just waltzing along. We should have jumped on that god wagon sooner, for a marvellous product we did think we had invented. Jesus, it seems, has been a little naughty, even before I came along. Yes, it's true. Well alright, cover your eyes children, it's a Jesus Dildo. You know, for all those lonely nights those lonely people can really feel Jesus's love. It turns out God, The Virgin Mary, Mother Terasa etc are in on the naughtiness at www.divine-interventions.com. They beat us to the snatch.

"Goodmorning Starshine, The Earth Says Hello."
- Willy Wonka 2005

Day 121: A Song For The Children

Something the Children Opted for as an Alternative:

I'm a little tea pot

Now pull out my eyes
Here are my retina's
Now I can not cry.
When I get all screamed out
Then I'll die.
Oops they've killed him
Those darn gawd lovers.

Now Lets Make A PlaceMat!

Day 120: It Really Did Happen

There was a broken fanbelt
And it spoke the truth to me,
"Do not lie in the topic,
Bejewel encrusted you will be.

I see you have sunken features
Like an empty, gapping hole.
Don't put things in there
It's not meant for any poles.

Suck a lemon you old prune,
Eat the grated cheese.
Don't fornicate in July,
One of you might sneeze.

Goodbye my friend,
My warnings you will feed.
Tulips bloom in Febuary
But don't forget the weeds."
- A Twig-Like Hermit :P

Bouncing the Broken Stain.

Day 119: Tulips Can Cheat

STEP 1: Stick a piece of mouldy bread in the sun...ok
STEP 2: A pinch of troll blood...yep
STEP 3: Make a paper plane...sure, ok??
STEP 4: We made playdough!!....hmmm
STEP 5: Clean up....alrighty then.

PS: This is so awesome; it truely works like a pencil on the run! Well except step 4...I think I used gawdly MOLD not ungawdly mould. That must be it, it has to be....

Wheels Are Not Your Fortune.

Day 118: Drugs Are Too Bad!

Do my eyes decieve me? Are they playing foolies with my convoluted brain? No?! Then why the hell does Lisa The Lizard Fairy have two arms and hellishly long legs? Might I say, they were near perfect, not nearly one inperfection to be googled. Were they not Barbie legs I did see horrify and blind my vision? How on the disgustingly hell spawned earth of doomy gloom did she find it? No, she mustn't have, she couldn't! My Barbie Goes To Hell And Then Dies Collector's Edition is ruined! Noooooooo! She will pay, she...will...pay.....

But The Skull Lives On.

Day 117: Where Did The Party Go?

You and I are in the same soap. That's right my little weed. I know not of their whereabouts and really should not be caring. Maybe Ashley did eat them? Who are you fooling? It was not Verenetti at all, it was the corn. Do not flap your tongues with lies; the trolls simply left to conquer the world. And here I sit, so proud to be, that I was able to withstand the debacle like a dilemma gone naughty. I did battle it out so bravely, didn't I, hiding here in the cupboard. I'm sure Lisa made it, I'm sure.

One Year Of Loony Tune Flops.

Day 116: Screaming In The Rain

I am screaming in horror, in complete and utter shock! How could it be that the world was so mean? I thought I was going to die to death, those filthy things; they did molest my outer shell. I should have foreseen such a trauma, for it did enter from the outside. But I was in denial, it's my bed base and it would/could never harm me. So this is how the unholy event from within imaginable horrors went down: I was there. I was picking my crusty sleep from my glaring eyes, praising myself for creating sleep of such gem-like quality. Yes I am proud. Then I saw it. Falling from the roof, riding the wicked air waves. Hand gliding the turbulence created by the sitting fan. Scouting out the lands that lye ahead. Before long, an army was descending upon me and my precious head! of course I screamed, what would any sane microbe do? I, however, had the decency to keep my gapping mouth closed the whole time. What if one got in there? Hideous baby spider were raining down, I had to run. Across the room I darted, but they were so fast. I wasn't going to make it. I panicked like a pickled gherkin. Squealing without the horror of opening up to them. I dived. Rolling I crashed through the door, right under them all. That was that. I was not in a mood to be reckoned with. Death to them all! And then I found it. A hairy biatch from another dimension, spawning hatchlings to torment our world. God she was ugly. She came out to greet my finger of doom and yet she didn't have the courtesy to shave her filthy legs! Rude, I say and so I came down upon her like her death babies had done to me. Raining down with spray, I tortured her malignant soul full of all things spidery evilness. DIE, DIE, DIE! And she did, eventually.

Wishy, Wishy You Sing To Me.

Day 115: I Burst Out And I Was Scary

Yes, I found it! A hole in the roof, if you must know. There it was all that time, just starring down at me, all sneaky like. Snickering as it hid its filthy presence from me. So I went right up into that hole. Luckily my twig-like form was able to squeeze through with ease because I was interrupted. Halfway in and there I was and so was it. Can you believe the nerve? All grudge like, it groaned a frantic moan and crawled so unearthly right at me, like it was a privileged devil minion. I whacked her in the face with my then removed sock and I sternly spoke these words, "Skank! Entering my dark places is not acceptable." And as I flomped back down into the cupboard of treacherous doom I said under my breath, "How dare she drag her carcass near my skin!"

Lurp, Lurp Went The Owl.

Day 114: Can I Dare Venture Out?

I have yet to risk it, the journey outside. My life could be in danger of serious infection. Oh but I must know if I am loved. I will do it. I will venture out and check the damned mail...but those filthy gawd books, would they still be there to greet me at my front door step? Ooo, what's that?

Wrap The Chain With A Straw.

Check out my updated Links. StickGirl is someone new... If only I could create such awesome drawings :(

Day 113: Holy Jesus, Mary And Joseph On A Stick

I found it! Oh my precious, my precious little gemmy. It did roll here, sometime last spring. It was so long ago, but still I smell it's sweet aroma. It's yummy, so effervescent scent was lost to me. But now, my last Malteeser, found safe and still quite round. As perfect as that day I last saw it. And here, in my cupboard it sat, awaiting my arrival, it's very own rescue. I must savour the moment...gulp - oops.... CaHaCoufloo *spit* Ok that was a mothball. My poor malteeser still lost and so fragile in this horrible demon infested world of devil spawned minions that rose from their heavenly graves to throw malevolent parties in which Malteesers are a delicious delicacy, Noooooooooo! Actually that mothball wasn't too bad, mmmmm yum.

Squeeze If You Dare.

Day 112: I was Blank, For A Moment I Promise

How could I have forgotten to memorise your everlasting need to be informed? Or should I be asking, how could you not know, not realise? In the meantime, it has been a few days now, but yes, I did enter the broom cupboard. Yes, the horror, the dazzling aroma, it haunts me. But could you have known the beginning that happened? It was like a cold and freezing, but beautiful winters day all rainy and dark gloominess. For some unforseen reason, I hesitated not and simply strolled right in there. What is wrong with me? I did not even think to ask my retched brain; which failed to inform me of the filthy situation about to occur. One second I was walking and the next I was in a screaming torture chamber of some unknown cupboard demon dimension that spawns a never ending supply of cobwebs! I screamed so much, both Ashley and Lisa were in disgust. I screamed, pushing through the webs to feel the back of the cupboard. I continued walking in like my legs we no longer mine to control. Then I saw it. I stopped screaming for a nanosecond. I looked at my right hand and screamed. I looked over at my left hand and screamed. Then I turned my head from side to side so swiftly, screaming each time I saw my newly web encrusted hands. "It's on me, get it off. GET IT OFF!" I screamed. And that, dear RatMinoins, is when Lisa slammed the door.

Batteries Won't Pronounciate.

Day 111: My Nose Is Not For Rent

There I sat, in my cupboard, my new home inside home. And yet still, the cobwebs are forming? Oh surely you would know the truthfulness like a bar of ungodly soap? Yes, I am inhabited; well, at least, I was. How rude it felt, to awaken in this confined cold, dark and moist cocoon of mine. My finger had the right urge to relieve that irritant tickle deep inside, but some demon, birthed from the innards of an unsaintly sac, was blocking the hole! It was a SPIDER! I squealed; I hit possessed mops bent on licking foreheads; I screamed and I hit every wall, germ infested crevice and booms of all the in-betweens. But finally, after much an anxiety attack or two, I was able to do it. I snorted that beastly monstrosity from within my inner recesses. I'm good, I'm fine, I braved it.

Lazy Freckle's Make Them Weary

Day 110: Why Is It Me?

I can hear them out there in the hallway, the bathroom and yes, even in the pantry. Why have they returned? I am not so evil, nor am I so deserving of this torturous torment. Those hell spawned minions are at it again. I don't know why they returned so soon, or what they want, but it must infuriate the peas. I will not let these filthy invaders of the under gallows interrupt my oh-so-busy life, which it is. It is the trolls.Yes; they have broken free of the crack-hole in the middle of my hideous kitchen floor. I knew the peanut butter would fail me....But the dirtiest, most filthy, fowl and satanic thing from Mars? They now wear nose tingling bacon rashers for armour, while still wielding their sharp as hell, hardened cheese off cuts.

Yellow Donkey’s With Dark Eyes.

It Is So Important There Are No Words

A strange and wonderous thing it is that me and Lisa are creating. Together we make an unstoppable team of 2 freaks in it for the degrading laughter. Do not shy away your ears or your toes, no, for we will be making something so dirty, so hilarious, you just might die to death. But be forewarned, it is gonna be G rated, so you might need some parental guidence or risk singeing your eyes.

UnTiL NeXT
(hehe, thankx sCOoT)

Day 109: Let The Freckle's Decide

The seal is breaking. I'll have to patch it before all torturous hell breaks loose, all over the darn kitchen floor again. It took me hours to clean up that filth last time. I think some Peanut Butter might just do the trick. There, all better now.

Fornicate You Lousy Buttons.

Day 108: Dang, I Left The MouseTrap Open

"Who could have thought it?" I say.
Then I said, "It was not me, I can tell you that!"
"It must be The Shadow In The Corner..." They said to me.
"Oh, that's right, place the blame." standing there all ghetto like.
All, infused, I sternly spoke these words, "No, NO! I was speaking, do not interupt please?!"
"Um, excuse me, but can you keep it down, I'm trying to imagine the room waiding" I did say it with my mouth. ashley looked on from the corner all insulted by my remark, like some back water drama from hell. Damn it, I can't live like this anymore, can you? Me, Myself And I are just too much to be occupying such a tiny place like this. There is no room to move and then they keep following me anyways. Where it the butter? I'm gonna dig them out!

Oh I See The Curdled Eyes.

Day 107: Whatever Already

A horribly chiming sound sprung to demented life and pierced my ear like a fish in water, but what was it to be? I could not know and I did thin it would just leave me alone, but no. The filthified box in the sky upon Virgil's curved arc sounded out another mouldy melody of doom. In the trauma I was confused and so dizzy running in circled squares, I made a dash for the door. And as I opened that unholy door, I was greeted by the most unsaintly people I have never had the privileged to meet. They too did not believe I was old and wrinkled enough to wave tongues in speech and then had the NERVE to place upon my fingertips, filthy god books, in=my-hand! GAWD BOOKS! Can you believe the uproar? I squealed. I screeched I flung those pages at the freaks and wiggled my fingers in disgrace. Off they ran, but there on top the door mat, laying so peacefully, Welcome hidden beneath their demonic textures; the god books lay on the door mat, blocking my path. How to get to the letter box now, hmmm?

Evil Rests Atop The Ledge.

Day 106: Why Was It Not There?

I've just realised, I have no security flyscreen on my front door. In fact, there is not flyscreen door at all! How could I have felt safe all this time? And even more so, How could I have thought it was the drain that let those midgets in to train their ferrets?

Back-Slap That Rock; It Was Born A Cake.

Day 105: Just Breathe

Since when do people just waltz up and poke around in your own EarWax? I was all telling myself that, "Yes I do look fine enough to venture out to the letterbox already," but then I was like, "NO! That strand is out of place, I can't bare it!" Eventually, I did muster up the dreadful courage to step outside. And so, I strolled out to the letterbox and RUUUUDE, nothing was there. I turned around like a snoot and do you know what happened? I turned around to run back inside when there, down the side of my angelic house was a filthy germ infested human demon. It was horrible, I say, it was poking its hideously long nose into a hidey-hole I knew nothing of. I felt it necessary and so I did it with silenced hesitation. "It's not right to stare in to my gapping hole” and I did give them the one-eyed evils. I immediately sprung in to a full-fledged sprint for the front door, holding back my screams of terror and frightfulness.

I'm Floating, Here, There And All Around.

Day 104: How It All Began

You can see my very first, original story about Rat Girl here, so click on her already. Download it and enjoy. I did make alterations to it to make the final version, so that it slips of the tongue just that little bit easier, but this is the beginnings of my insanity rampage. So LOVE it now!

Ok crappy mooland won't work so you'll just have to get over it.