Day 274: Cream With Butter & Pie

The incoherent coagulations in an unheeded rind. I said "How can you expect to hear with munchkins munching that there corner?" But no one spoke to the wind that drifted across the room. Looking around all was silent and cosy dreams....EXCEPT that gawd awful devil munching that rattled the brainless monkey scoops in the tropics! Is it truly the workings of an undead beastly monstrosity that sees it so fit to disturb my almost near silent surroundings and to inflame the temples? I believe it not. I should get out my trusty but ever so clean dusting mop and search that dirty little feather muncher out....No one will rule the sounds in this housing space without first consulting the fleas trapped in the entanglements below. The carpets you silly oyster! I shall seek and destroy and none shall stop me, let me at it!

Laughing Like A Balding Balloon.

Day 268: Filth That Lies

"You broke it with your eyes!" That is what I spoke to Lisa The Lizard as she dragged her Barbie doll carcass into view. I saw her all ragged and torn and i said all meaningful like, "Say no to the loops with lines, Sugar will only cause pins and thimbles." And she screeched like a morning flower that blooms in the evening for no other way could she have said it. Her leg had snapped off in her unconscious endeavour to fly like a foxy moron through the germ filled air of filth towards what can only be described as something horrible. She was attempting to trip near the trailer for the weekend, but instead she found tears of despicable courage and torment. Dam. Now I have to buy another Barbie...at least I can finally utilise the internet in such a worthy manor and save my reputable self from ridicule at the counter. "And what have you come as today?" the cashier would say.

Flip The Loops On The Pencilled Lines.

Day 262: Don't Fool The Jam

Like a flapping turtle in the breeze, I saw nothing there. Horrified at my lack of substance I turned and slapped Ashley across the knee cap for being where she should never have placed those filthy feet. "The kitchen, little devil spawned horror, is off the bounding edges" I said with all the charm and truthfulness spewing from between my divine, devil lips that shimmer with the light of darkness. But she simply wiggled out of sight and set that gawd aweful thing back in the tin. I saw her do it many times and I shan't allow it to continue. "Come hither" I coaxed her nearer. And with a lone swift movement I slapped that dispicable atrosity that lay claim on her elbow. I slapped it again and she was weeping. "No more elbows in the sugar bowl?" She questioned. I said "Stop sneezing the devils filth and leave it out of the sugar!" And I left her to her own devious devices that snatch the living lightbulbs of frutrience from the air itself. She will fear the next time she trickles a sugar destruction thought of doom and certain gloom for sugar spawn that frolick in their playing bowl of wonderful torment. I will eat them with my peas.

Purple Round, An Upward Strike.

Day 252: Lions Are Fooling The Plate

Chopping round like a whinding blade, the world seemed to merge in a fuzzy blur. Some crackling sound did approach itself from that direction, all around. Soon it will be over, i thought to myself. And I continued to feel the exstacy. A strange blob of brown was making itself nearer until I nearly felt it with the tips. But it was not to praise me, nor was it there to speculate. There it stood all des-pickle-able with gapping eyes and nostrils. I think I saw a hair up there. The pointing infuriated the ghastly garden gnomes, so immortalised in such fragile stone. Then I felt it. The wishing of the air around me. I felt it tickle my lobes. And just as surely; it began to stretch around to my nose. Gracefully I braced my toes for the impact as I fell nearer to the filthy dirt covered earth. The sin that would entail such an activity is unbeknown to the highest of the almighty you know! And there I was, in mid flight and that blob became a lady. She was so hideous like something I had never seen before. Twigs for hair and some dirty, filthy chicken bone in her hand. God it was the worse sight my eyes had had the pleasure of seeing. No more wandering eyes for me.
I hit the ground.
Rushing over to me, the chicken bone lady did a screech of perilous demise that would scorn the deafly ones, burnt by the thought of seeing such a disgrace. She was shaking me and I screamed so loud I thought it was a whisper. I poked her in the eye in a flash moment of desperation. Freed from her chicken grasp, I ran all warped liked. The world was not able to stay beneath my feet. I knew I should not twirl in public. Something do devious as to make me worthy of their sight always happens. That chicken bone will be mine.

Don't Eat The Floss, Or Eggs Can Fill The Tea.

Day 251: Out For A Walk

"Your Rather queer looking today," said Edgar Fulderhose
"Oh, oh but I'm going for a walk today," studdered Gilberg Hermungle, "I m-must have my pretty frock, I quite like it's textures on the tips."
Edgar Fulderhose replies, "Well you've yet to clean the rusty bucket," and slapped Gilberg Hermungle with a straw.
"B-but I like the hose to tell mestrange thing like that," Sobbed Gilberg Hermungle
"That strange odour is stinging my eyes; are you off?" Questioned Edgar Fulderhose.
"I s-s-say, Edgar... You are but a so-o-ock!" And Gilberg Hermungle threw Edgar Fulderhose away.
"I'm glad I never had the pleasure of tasting your flavours!"

That was quite a strange story, was it not? I do believe it tainted by those lies, those lies and filth called Salad Fingers. Not to be unapproachably rude, But I fear I am confused... No, I am normal.

Familar Hermits Still Not The Same.

Day 247: All Crinkled And Cut With Smiths

Awakening from my untorturously insane sleeping arrangement, I did notice something weird and so down left to the wrong side. I sat up in all the horror in no attempt to decipher the event at hand. Slowly it moved and I wobbled. So did it. What could be so disastrously devilish like the pickled gherkins that spoke to the worms? Nothing. That’s right, this moment was no worse than a midget eating rice on the bus with a square dancing pixie making the ungawdly decision to pee up the pipe, between the midgets toes. Nope, It could only be described as something from a comedy that made no sense and was more than nothing like gravy slopping from that disgusting orifice you house that poor like tongue in. What the hell did it ever do to you? I said it with my eyes and a lumpy lollypop-man said no. Drool had escaped my face and dribbled down the cheek to a position worth noting. It was there in the middle like a puddle on the roof.

Scissors Clip The Burnt Side Pin.